Sunday, June 9, 2013

Jealousy

I would be lying to say I never get jealous. "You two know each other?" I was repeating myself, an old habit used to cover up feeling confused or ill at ease. Thinking about Max helped me muster the courage to stay with the moment. Vulnerable but willing to test the limits of my fear. 

Raven answered, "Nance is Raven Clan. Her basketry is much respected and sought out at berry-picking time ..." Raven laughed at the small joke. Nance the Basket Weaver was a master weaver and teacher with ties to around the world. When we first met she was struggling to keep her head above water. Now, galleries bid for her work and her portfolio is thicker than sheep needing shearing. 

Raven continued. He never took his eyes off me."We met two years ago when my sisters gave her the name 'Nance of the Kelp' and welcomed her into our tribe at potlatch. My sisters gather with Nance's baskets when the berries come ripe." Raven beamed when he spoke of his twin sisters. Older by ten years they were more mother than sisters to the silver-haired bird man. Together the wizened pair of women raised Raven in a most eclectic world of magic, a world I was barely tapped into after two years. There was a legacy of traditions and transitions to appreciate. Walking into The Safety Pin Cafe that winter day. Border crossing. Now it seemed my initiation was moving to a new level.

"Oh," I said too brightly. I was still trying to convince my cautious heart to turn the juice down.

Raven felt the vibe and lifted a eyebrow at me. In his human shape this animal nature was no less keen. He took my hands, "Trust me, Miel. There is nothing to fear." Nance and Maha were right there. It's not as if they weren't part of my emotional dither. Get a grip, Border Witch. This is a person Max sought out, and arranged to be here. I had no reason nor experience with being let down by the big kahuna. Maybe it was the postpartum blitz of hormones turning on a too easily tapped habit. Old habit wears a deeply trod trail. I felt a chill run the back of my neck. Choose again. Okay.


Continue reading here ...