Mermaid

Venus Neptune will avoid you. They will go into hiding, or they may escape into drink or drugs, all to get away from the other for reasons they may not even be able to define. It is not uncommon to see a normally hearty person, all of the sudden damned near disabled. It’s because the tide went out, that’s why. This is disturbing as hell on both sides of the equation. - My astrologer

"I am close to being tired of bursting into tears." There I said it, then burst into tears again whimpering, shoulders heaving. She sat, put her hand on my hand and pat.

"Not yet done. I know, the tide's out and this water is too cold to dive into. The mermaid has no place to go to renew." I let very few people see me like this, not even Raven gets to see the heaving shoulders very often. It's hard on him for all this magical ability, mortal fragility is mysterious to the silver-haired magician. Maha was one of the few who would not take my disappearing act seriously. Well, no that's not it at all is it. She takes it seriously and allows me to disappear without expecting me to cheer up before its time.

"It wasn't always that way," she'd told me back at The Cafe months earlier. "I was made to fix things," she explained when I saw my first Faceless Woman. "Being faceless myself over and over with a strong Taurus signature I don't mind messing in the mud. Coming up with new possibilities and plastering over the leaks. When I was agile and filled with energy that seemed endless I forged ahead with fixing myself and everyone in my domain. Aging made its play for my fixing habit when I could no longer reach for the tools that matters to me most: seeing and hearing." Then the woman who sat quietly tapping my hand as I cried without stopping was the Gypsy woman, nameless though titled I was seeing Maha through the veil of generality. Luckily for me, age was playing with the deck of Tarot when first I met this Gypsy. She recognized a mermaid out of water, a witch in need of her stick.

So today I cried myself into exhaustion while Maha sat and pat, sat and pat.


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